Journal #25- Fear

When I think about fear, I start thinking of all the things that I am afraid of. Like first of all, I am afraid of spiders. They are my biggest fear. Yesterday, I was doing my laundry and saw a spider in the laundry basket. I turned around to put my clothes from the washer into the dryer and when I looked back the spider was gone. I was terrified and very paranoid. The second thing I am afraid of is bridges. They scare me. Especially when they are over water. I do not know why, but I just do not like the feeling I get when I go over a big bridge that have water underneath them. I tend to hold my breath over bridges. I also do not know why. Or someone tends to hold my hand if it gets that bad. The perfect example of that is when I was going to Florida with my family. We had to cross about a 2 mile long bridge to get to our house from town. Each time you had to stop on the bridge and pay a fee for crossing. So not only was I scared on the bridge, but the fact that we had to stop just freaked me out more. I am scared of clowns. They are not funny, they are not cute, and I do not care if there is a real person inside there, I do not like it. One of them tried to come up to me at a parade and I ran and hid from it like a little child. I do not know how children find them amusing at all. Then, I have minor fears. I am afraid of Styrofoam. The sound it makes, makes my stomach hurt really bad. I do not like when people mess with it and I also will not touch it because of the sound. Then, I hate nail files. The sound they make also make me queasy. I cannot file my nails and I cannot watch other people file their nails either. Since I have OCD, it just the little things I am afraid of because my fears are what throw me off balance, and I cannot stand it.